(All five guys looked and sounded miserable, and their voices would have fit much better with a Merle Haggard tribute — but gosh, how were they supposed to learn and sing a Hag song with only 24 hours notice? What do you think this is, live TV or something?)
Still, the finale was meant to sum up why the show once mattered so much, and it worked. The farewell episode demonstrated why it was time for it to go, but it also evoked the glories of Idol past, back in the day when it first came along to fill the Justin Guarini-shaped hole in America’s heart. Even President Obama showed up, in a strange introduction where he gave the series credit for getting people excited about voting. “Not all of us can sing like Kelly Clarkson,” he said. “But all of our voices matter.” (Though let history show that our Commander-in-Chief could sing “Let’s Stay Together” better than Justin did.) “This show reached historic heights, not only because Americans watched it, but because you participated in its success. And the same is true of America.” Given how splendidly democracy is currently working out in the U.S. of A, no wonder Idol‘s going off the air.
It wasn’t a gradual decline — as soon as Paula Abdul left, the magic was gone. You could always count on Paula. Say what you like about the “Forever Your Girl” kid, she was excited to be there, getting up to dance or weeping her lashes off or just gushing her own special Paula-ese. You could trust her to tell Jordin Sparks, “You are in great, great vocal voice tonight!” Or inform Melinda Doolittle, “It’s awesome when you’re fantastic!” Or assure the greatest Idol singer ever, Adam Lambert: “Adam, you dare to dance in the path of greatness!” While the other hosts would get that shellshock-fatigue look in their eyes, Paula’s gung-ho enthusiasm and vocal voice never flagged. She dared to dance in the path of ridiculousness.
Even without Ms. Abdul, Idol would have been cheeseball and tasteless. But it was Paula who guaranteed it could never be anything less. Week after week, it brought the full pageant of American absurdity, as nobodies stumbled onstage to act out their show-biz fantasies. Sometimes that meant pitchy little ducklings turning into swans before our eyes, like Kelly Clarkson or Jennifer Hudson or Carrie Underwood. Sometimes it meant loathsome creeps. Sometimes it meant a blind dude in a Loverboy headband crooning “I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That).” And once it meant Ryan Seacrest trying and failing to high-five said blind dude. Ruben Studdard belting “Sweet Home Alabama” in a glitter disco jumpsuit. Teenage girls singing Bonnie Raitt ballads about banging married alcoholics. Idol had it all.
Things just got grey after Paula split — even Ryan’s “This!” wilted a bit. That’s no knock on the replacement judges; you just couldn’t recreate the chemistry of the original three. Simon Cowell — so mean! Randy Jackson — so trying-too-hard! Paula — so hey there’s a cloud shaped like a kitten, or maybe that was a dream, where were we? Plus Ryan seething on the sidelines. Who can forget the night Ryan blew up after Simon called him “sweetheart” — as in, “You do the links, sweetheart, I’ll do the judging”? Now that was live TV.
And when Idol had an actual creative force on its hands, there was a night-by-night excitement — especially in 2009, the season Adam kept ripping shit up, with his “Mad World” and his “Feeling Good” and whatever the hell he was doing to “Ring of Fire.” And as the “American Dream” retrospective special this week showed, the Simon/Paula personality clash lurched into a weird running debate about our national values, right from the Season One auditions, with Paula making the valiantly nonsensical statement, “I don’t think anyone should be told they can’t do anything, no matter what!” Simon frowns at that.
Paula: “America is about celebrating the effort of. . .”
Simon: “Oh, don’t give me that American rubbish, Paula. That is rubbish.”
Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/the-lonesome-death-of-american-idol-20160408#ixzz45G0Qn5ie
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