What is “casual dating,” exactly?
In short, casual dating entails going out with, sleeping with, and having a connection to and respect for a person without committing to a relationship with them. Unfortunately, some kind of a bearded serpent in the 1960s decided that labeling things was oppressing them, or something, and it magically became virtuous to not label relationships. (“That’s what squares do!” or some other free-love bullshit.) The hippie that did it was garbage and just didn’t want to have to get business cards. Labeling things is fine, even if the label is just “casual.” It is okay to want to date casually, but you have to make it clear that, should the person you’re dating want more while you don’t, they’re free to look elsewhere.
I emphasize this because a great deal of casual dating happens when one party is not even privy to the fact that the other wants their situation to stay casual in perpetuity. The offending party manages to prolong the affair by saying things like, “Let’s see where it goes,” when they have no intention of seeing it actually go anywhere beyond where it is. But they’re either afraid of saying so because they think it will hurt the person’s feelings, or afraid that they’ll get dumped once their intentions become obvious.
These are both spineless reasons to not say that you want to be and remain casual. You shouldn’t be casually dating someone without their consent. These numbers aren’t in the Bible or anything, but you should have “the talk” according to any of these three different measures: 1) After at least five dates ended in sex, 2) after dating has been ongoing for eight weeks, or 3) after you’ve had three sleepovers that ended in making breakfast for each other the next morning. (Because that shit is serious, okay?) More importantly, you must always demonstrate that you want things to be casual by not giving off Boyfriend Vibes, which brings me to my next point.